Do you ever feel pressured to always stand up for your non-white part?
Before we answer this question, let us take a look at the life of Shelton. Shelton grew up in a majority white suburb somewhere in California. He was raised primarily by his white mother, considering his black father left her when he found out that she was preganant. From the onset of his education, Shelton was immersed into a community of only white people. One day, during his high school experience, Shelton was hanging out with a group of his friends. He was the only multiricial person present. All of a sudden, John cracks a joke about black people. Silence falls upon the crowd as everyone fixates their vision upon Shelton. Now, on the surface of this scenario you may be thinking that this was an appropriate response from Shelton's friends to look at him considering he was indeed part black. But two main questions run through my mind when I analyze this common occurence; why aren't his friends scolding the offender, and is it really Shelton's job to defend the non-white group being offended?
***As a note, feel free to juxtapose yourself with Shelton***
Let's address the first question, why aren't Shelton's friends looking at the offender instead of him? --We've all done it before; when someone makes a Jewish joke in the room, we look towards the Jew for his response while disregarding the perpetrator as if he hasn't done anything wrong.-- It's safe to assume that his friends knew that the joke was offensive, so why aren't they trying to defend him instead of waiting for his response? Furthermore, is it ultimately Shelton's job to defend black people more so than all of the other people around? Now, before we answer these questions, let us remember Shelton's communal upbringing; he is virtually a part of this group of people. Despite that he may look a little different than them, they share a common taste in music, cltohing style, phonectic speech, and everything else you can think of that would be "required" for a person to be accepted into a community. By now you're probably asking yourself, "Why is it my responsibilty to stand up against racism and not everybody elses?" Even though you are on the right pathological track, I must digress from the topic for a moment to state that "I" consider it imperative that everyone stand up against all acts of racial injustice. This article is simply here to point out that you as an individual do not deserve to be pressured into defending any group of people. So, back to my first question; why aren't Shelton's friends looking at John. The reasoning can diverge into two possibilites: his friends say these types of things when he isn't around or they care more about seeing his response and whether or not he has been offended than the severity of the joke. We can generally rule out the first scenario considering that these people are his friends that he has interacted with for the majority of his life. Therefore, we remain with just the second scenario. To address this problem, we must confront it openly. The next time this occurs, Shelton should query his friends about why they are looking at him rather than the person that said the joke.
As for the second question, "Is it really Shelton's job to defend the non-white group being offended?" Obviously his friends think it is since they ogled him after the joke was made. However, they are sadly mistaken in their belief. Next time a racist remark is made and your friends watch and wait for your response, bring to their attention that you grew up with them and are a part of their community; emphasize that the only thing that marginally separates you from them is the color of your skin. Point out that the same "differences" can be applied to blonds and brunnettes, the overweight and underweight, the tall and short, etc. So ask them, why the importance of race when you are all a homogenous commmunity.
In closing, I know that I may have posed more questions than I gave clear answers to, but it is your job to apply Shelton's situation to your life and educate your friends on the importance of community rather than race.
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written by Smooth Lady, September 17, 2009
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written by Ron, September 17, 2009
Interesting post nonetheless.
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written by Priscilla, September 18, 2009
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written by DENISE P, September 19, 2009
I was just saying that a lot of times some people who are mixed feel guilty for not standing up more for their non-white counterpart. You are explaining that they shouldn't and I get that. I was just confirming that. Or was that the point to begin with?
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written by Chameleon, September 19, 2009
-Denise, I don't understand the question. Would you care to elaborate a little more?
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written by Chameleon, September 19, 2009
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written by Bobbie, September 21, 2009
I've never really thought too much about defending any of the races in a lot of jokes like these. Most of these are just friendly. My open mindedness and a relating to both sides of my family is what allows me to tolerate jokes like that
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written by Marie, September 22, 2009
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